Now that sufficient time has passed,
The target situation has been upgraded,
Including are those who have done unto me,
As well as unto them are now on the list.
The list has formed to take aim the coming wane,
When the Lady darkens her light,
I’ll sit and I’ll wait to take my aim,
With runic thoughtform taking fearful wish.
Names known […]
This weekend has been difficult, if it hadn’t been the good support of my friends both online and at the pub I fear… enough of that. I feel that I am getting back on course, back on the meds again, although the propananol is still at 50% of January’s level and so it will remain, […]
Ok, I should have listened to my betters that you can only reduce medication by so much without losing such conscious behaviour patterns. Am now paranoid like I was years ago, ain’t no fun at all believe me, always looking over your shoulder, knowing what is being said. Before I had no such knowledge, I […]
Just been reading up on this subject as it is close, unfortunately, to my heart.
Schizophrenia is the most chronic and disabling of the major mental illnesses. It is a highly complex condition, and scientists are not even sure if it is one disorder, or a range of disorders, with different causes. Approximately one per cent […]
Well it started off ok this morning had to go and see Wi.C. in town and have some breakfast. Found a nice spot and settled down to a bacon butty and a brew together. We don’t often see each other, for various reasons mostly very obvious, we certainly aren’t estranged despite what others may assume, […]
Not a good day today, for the morning and afternoon. Started off half five a.m. called urgently to the loo, this was followed at ten minute intervals until about ten. Ten past ten, on the loo again – other end this time – looking for Huewie, at least now I knew why I was so […]
Another long and empty day, or so I thought. Slept in late - a goods’ night sleep and one of been waiting for for, what seems, so long.
Pulled myself together and decided to take upon the invite to tour Lancaster Castle this afternoon. After a short, seemingly so, with H online I made myself ready […]
A strange day, I was expecting H to turn up, and the family turned up first, then no more that a minute later so did H; I didn’t even have time to phone H to explain.
Had a nice dinner with the family but I felt a little disappointed that I hadn’t seen H as she […]
Well I did it long last, I bought a new monitor with the money I saved from cutting down drinking for a week or two. It is nice, flat and thin and gives me a whole lot more space on my desk for yet more paperwork and junk. I am finding the monitor a real […]
The night is long,
As, once again,
I lay awake in silence,
Just waiting for the dawn.
Clouded thoughts,
Of days long passed,
Filling each hour,
Keeping me from sleep.
Heart beats loud,
Longing for peace,
Hearing sounds,
That are never there.
Thoughts are long,
And oh so dark,
Fears rising,
As I wait for the light.
Long is the night,
And long is my fear,
Only to change them,
And long to hate.
Waiting […]
